Redlands second draft evaluation.
In this draft I have located some weak points that I will be changing to make my film better.
Firstly I will be making the ‘want, need and obligation’ easier to identify. I will be showing how Sam wants to impress Jacks older brother more than being Jacks friend. I will not be revealing Sam’s injury so the audience will feel more concerned for the character.
I will have the younger boys follow Jacks older brother to the jumps instead of listening to his call as this is more realistic. Sam will show little interest in being Jacks friend so will be on is phone/handheld computer until they leave to follow George, the older brother. This will show how Jack wants to be friends with someone who is a little older and cooler than himself.
When Sam falls from his bike, Jack, George and Jason leave through panic but Jack turns back to help Sam but the audience don’t see what happens to build tension.
